I'm sure there's a way to talk about this without sounding all sour grapes, snarky, or [insert callous remark here], but in the course of my pimping Ghosty: This Fenceless World, I recently suffered this e-mailed defeat:
Thanks, but not for us.
[name redacted],
Author of [TITLE OF BOOK redacted] (Writer Digest Books)
[name of agency redacted]
(718) 555-5344
[blog address redacted]
visit [website address redacted]
Twitter:[account redacted]
***
Why did this one get to me?
This wasn't my first rejection, by any means, but as I read it, I realized that the agency spent more time pimping its products than rejecting my work.
Not enough we're shooting you down, but while you're reeling, how about purchasing some of our fine products? It's like I've been bumrushed out of a fancy restaurant, but I've been encouraged to buy a t-shirt on my way out. Try to avoid eye contact with anybody, though. You might infect them with your mediocrity. (Okay, I am being a little sour grapes and snarky here, but the wound is fresh.)
I honestly would have been less upset by a three-word "Not for us."
Seriously. I know I'm one of thousands of petitioners, but please don't try to sell me crap while you're shooting me down.
Speaking of which?
Time elapsed between submission and rejection? 10 minutes.
Actually, I had the AOL window up and it said it was sent 3 minutes before I opened it, but I'll be generous and go with the inbox time.
Either way, a personal record. Suck it, fellow losers!
I'll bring my rejection file with my this weekend.
ReplyDeleteThis is just perfect of evidence of how little time these people spend actually reading and considering the query. Partly because they can't. Partly because they don't want to. Mostly because they're just chumps who wanted to write at one point but failed.
And the pimping of their products is just a standard sig. I got one once that said "please consider the environment before printing this e-mail."
I printed it 42 times and threw them all in the garbage.
Not the recycling. THE GARBAGE.
I'm not sure anyone who has sent in their work and had it dismissed is in any mood to put their hard-earned down for a book by the person who shot it down.
ReplyDelete"Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail"?
Well, at least I didn't get a sermon!