I, Racki (Part XII)

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“Am I testing you, Racki? I will admit, it would be nice if someone were to attack the convoy and I were given the chance to annihilate them. However, that was not my intention, no. The Age of Danger has passed this town by and all threats have long ago been neutralized. I spoke loosely just now and revealed these things to you because I have no fear of the enemy and I invite them to essay my martial valor, challenge them to check my undelaying advance and by so doing display my unquestioned reverence for our Mayor. I once took down a bandit who thought he’d jump the fence and steal pears from His Honor’s private orchard, but that’s all my service has required so far.”

Distantly, Jim Riley scratched his chin and looked like he was thinking something really deep. “I had a nightmare last night,” he said.

“A nightmare.”

“There was a big battle. Everybody was dying. A battle right here in Stone Creek.”

“So what was the nightmare, Jim?”

“I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there to protect the Mayor and he died.”

“That’s some dream.”

“And our waking world is not at all unlike it. Why are you here instead of Mr. Baptist?”

“I was wondering when you were going to get around to asking me that. You see, I’m doing him a favor.” I saw a look of escalating concern ratcheting up on him. “No way should Hannibal have to bring a stuffed bear over here. Hannibal doesn’t even know I’m over here helping him score points with Salome with this stuffed bear.”

“You’re mistaken, Racki,” he said. “Stuffed bears have no effect on that frosty lass.”

I shrugged my shoulders noncommittally. “Think she’ll like this boutonniere? The flowers the homo put in look pretty girly. Girls dig the stuff that homos do.”

“The cyclamen represents resignation and loss, Racki.”

“I see,” I muttered. “I wasn’t really paying attention when the shop fairy was putting it together and this is what happens. I plan on paying that clever man a second visit, but flower meanings probably aren’t Hannibal’s strong suit so maybe not today. But definitely tomorrow. That’s what you get when you mess with the Player Slayer.”

“It’s quite obvious you’re sweet on Hannibal,” he stated.

“That was a mistake.” My voice was iron. It was a nice day, and now I was feeling fighty. “Things were going so well here. What I’m saying, is say good-bye to your teeth.”

That old sweet rush I get in my belly before the swinging starts showed up. “Careful,” he said.

“Five minutes from now you might have to start drinking all your meals through a straw.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

That was Salome, wearing an olive sundress and thumbing the shoulder strap of her purse. My fists were clenched and my rage-coil was ready to spring, but I don’t settle accounts while I’m doing people favors. Salome took the bag, looked inside, and handed it off to Jim Riley. “Go ahead and put the flower in the refrigerator, Jim.”

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